Learning to trust people

 Dear Reader,

Today I believe in people. I believe that they can be kind and lenient. 

Yesterday one and today 2 people were kind to me.  I thought they would not understand but a fairy did (lets name her that). she sympathized and I felt heard. Although I felt ashamed of being emotionally exhausted. She said she would make sure that I would be fine and be able to write my exams. 

It made me believe in myself a little. Another classmate tried to shield me from the professor questioning me. At least, that's what it looked like and I was grateful that someone came to my rescue. I did not thank him, maybe someday I will repay the favor. He tried to divert the conversation and make it about him. He tried to joke with the professor and change the topic. I was so genuinely grateful. I can't believe he had that much of a heart to do so. You see, he is regarded as a class clown or attention seeker. At least, that's my perception.  This professor said I should have spoken to him and he would have helped. I think I was blinded by my distrust for people and always assumed I was such a difficult person to understand. 

A lot of the times, even I can't understand myself. So I thought how could other. Turns out self-awareness exits and there's no unique feeling in the world. Every emotion or thought that exists is always felt by a group or people, maybe they are spread around the world or maybe they are close to each other. Anyways, no emotion or thought is ever felt by an individual alone. If I feel unworthy, there are probably a thousand people around the world that do so as well. This thought gives me comfort. 

Another gave me chips. These actions may not seem much but today I was grateful for them and appreciative. I needed those small acts of kindness which usually go unnoticed. I received a small piece of chocolate from fairy. I was so happy when she understood and said would help me. It felt like I was dancing in the clouds and was the happiest person on earth. In return I want to do something for this person, show them how much I appreciate their help.

" someone noticed my efforts", " my efforts finally paid off", " I must do better next semester" I thought to myself.

Many times, you just have to try or ask even if you feel like all the odds and the entire world is against you.