A Broken Friendship

 Dear Reader,

People have been know to be desperate for love but have you ever been desperate for friendship? To save something  so desperately which was broken before. 

Can I have a true and genuine friendship without heartbreak.

Maybe I am the cause. so many feeling, how do I explain it to a person. what can they do about it even if I do so? Venting out might feel better but it doesn't solve anything. It just feels as if I am complaining. 

I think I gave up on friendship this semester. I want to focus on things that last. Maybe we keep people as friends even when we don't like them, just for the sake of it or because we are afraid of confrontation or maybe sometimes just letting it be is better than facing it.

Deep inside, there's jealousy and guilt buried. If you start excavating it out, you fall deeper than the ocean. All I wanted to do today was bury it, ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. 

I wish I said something at that time. I wish I didn't react the way I did. The irony is that while trying to save the friendship I broke it. Would it have been better if I just buried my feelings at that point of time just like I did with my guilt today. It consumes me and that is all I think about when I see their face. 

But you know what I tried my best to save the friendship, I did all I could to amend it and fix up the broken pieces but alas no amount of glue was ever enough it seems.